NWLA: Comprehensive Power Ranking of Human Fingers

July 18, 2017

So as most of the NWLA Community knows, I did my best to cut my right pinky finger off while setting up a strikezone at the NWLA Tournament on Friday. The good news is I don't need surgery, but I missed the Tournament and will still be on the shelf for 4-6 weeks. 

 

In an attempt to look on the bright side, the boys and I started making a comprehensive list of the fingers, ranked in order of importance. Without further ado, from worst to first, let's take a look at what we came up with.

 

DISCLAIMER: PLEASE DON'T CUT ANY OF YOUR FINGERS OFF.

 

10.) Right Ring Finger

 

The ring finger on your right hand is literally there to make sure the hand doesn't look unbalanced. Don't actually need it for a ring, doesn't really factor into everyday activities. This was an easy choice.

 

T8.) Pinky Fingers

 

Your dominant hand is a little more important, so in theory, I nearly severed my 8th most important finger. It's similar to the right ring finger just because it doesn't have a real purpose, other than looking fancy.

 

7.) Left Ring Finger

 

This one sits at 7 because it's where you put the wedding band. As a future Man Who Wears Marriage Jewelry, my girlfriend would be very upset at me if I lost this one. However, if you did, just put the ring on a different finger. Same difference.

 

T5.) Middle Fingers

 

I'm tempted to rank this higher just because I love telling people they're number 1, but I honestly can't. Functionally, you use it on a wiffle grip, and other grips too I suppose. This is really the first absolutely essential set of digits.

 

T3.) Pointer Fingers

 

You gotta point at stuff, It's really just that symbol. Otherwise, you have to use people's names while talking instead of just pointing and saying "Hey you!"

 

T1.) Thumbs

 

Thumbs are what made humans awesome. Without thumbs we couldn't do anything. Shoutout to God for giving us these awesome thumbs.

 

This article should be an NWLA Recap, but we had such a disappointing year that I'm skipping it. Congrats to WSEM for winning title #3. We'll be back (and hopefully healthy) next year!

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