Disclaimer: If you get offended by anything I say here, that sucks. I can’t rank everyone #1. Don’t take stuff like this too seriously.
I’m sure you opened this and thought, “Another set of power rankings?” Yeah, another set of power rankings fool. It says it right in the title. Difference is, mine have been around longer than 99.9% of these other power rankings. So read up and get offended by words I say. ONWARD:
16.) BCW Keg Crushers
This seems to be the popular spot for these guys and I’m putting them here as well. There’s not a lot of hitting with this bunch, only one respectable pitcher, and I’ve heard they’ll only be bringing a three man crew. Three man teams have exactly 1 DE win ever. I expect that to stay the same.
15.) BWBL Breaker Boys
I’m fairly certain I ranked these guys to finish Dangerfield last year and they didn’t, but they lost so much. Now they’re losing their best player from regionals in Dotzel. Someone else has to hit besides Novitski, otherwise, this won’t be a fun weekend for these boys.
14.) LWA Legends of Leroy
I wanted to rank this team last on the principle that their name is technically “Leroy Legends of Leroy”, but they have a little more talent than the bottom two. They look decent at the plate but look like they don’t have much in the way of pitching, which is essential here.
13.) GAWL Stars
This was the toughest spot for me to choose in the entire tournament, but somebody has to win the Dangerfield. These guys are no pushovers, but they’ll go through the typical rookie team pains. They did beat Tampa and will probably get a high-ish seed, but I could see a KWL 2015 out of these guys.
12.) MNWA Gophers
The battle for the 13 was between these two, so I’ll pick the team with experience. They hit pretty well and picked up a reliable #2 in Peisert. They don’t have the upper echelon pitching required to go deep in this tournament but they should get a DE win, maybe even two.
11.) WWF New Wiffle Order
Let’s not get cute: Artim is a budding superstar in this tournament and the work he does this year will impress a lot of people. But behind him, I’m not sure who the #2 will be. Artim can duel with a lot of top guys but someone needs to hit. Also, can’t have any bonehead mistakes like they did against HVWBL in PA.
10.) KWL Keggers
Yes, the very same KWL team that’s only regional blemish was a tie against WSEM won’t make the Top 8. Nothing they’ve done in prior years points to anything higher than a Top 6 for these guys, although they got unlucky last year. Still, I don’t see a complete team here, so here you go boys.
9.) HVWBL River Monsters
This team lost a good amount of blood after last season but Sean Ryan will be the pitching savior. They can hit well and snuck up on Tampa last year with a gem out of #2 Tozzi. There’s more than a few joint pains on this staff though, so they’ll need to stay healthy to remain in the Top 8 hunt.
8.) PWL Nationals
Jack Shannon is a bona fide #1 in this tournament, and I was impressed with what I saw from his twin Jim in NYC. He’s still not a legit #2, but Jack should be able to coax 2 DE wins from this squad. They always bring decent hitting, and did I mention Jack Shannon is a beast? Yes? Well he is.
7.) TBW Lightning
Only half of the Harley duo will be here, so a rank dock for them. They are bringing fireballer Troy Linderman, who will either throw a no-hitter or walk everyone and throw a no-hitter. Chris Harley is still an ace in Ohio and he should be able to battle his way through teams.
6.) GBL Paw Chests (?)
If that even is their real name, they put on a show in Morenci by beating the two-time champs in their own dojo. They did it with their #4 pitcher. Lidster and Kuna are back and bring some firepower to this pitching staff. This team absolutely mashes the ball but they’ve never been able to get over the hump. I don’t see it this year either.
5.) SWBL Cardinals
My favorite team other than my own, these guys are one of the most fun teams to watch and play against. They do it like no other: with defense, and hitting. They have a three-headed pitching monster, but not a single one of those guys are aces. If they could get one guy like that, they’d be a title contender.
4.) HRL All Stars
Smallpox is one of the Top 5 pitchers in this tournament, and he’s only getting better. The problem is, his team doesn’t seem to be getting better. I’m still not sure if Dr. Seuss is a legit #2, especially after we teed off on him last year. And I’m also unsure if any of them outside of Smallpox can hit. I guess we’ll find out.
#3 HFWB Hitmen
Easily my #1 pick before Jimmy Cole went down with an injury. Now they have to replace his offense with someone. They were very good last year until they ran into Farkas-Roeder in back to back games, which is a menacing wall for any team. If Butrym is better this year, they’ll stick around for the championship.
#2 OCWA Freaky Franchise
They were a Ryan Bush and an 11 inning battle away from winning last year, so you could say they got unlucky. Also, adding Regis Pollard, one of the best hitters in the history of this tournament, won’t hurt. I’d say we’ll get back to the championship, but who knows.
#1 WSEM Dads
All hail Caesar. Let’s hope the Ides of March are coming.
Side note for Chandler Phillips: Julius Caesar was a Roman emperor who was killed by his associates on March 15th, the Ides of March. Rome is a city in present day Italy. Italy is a country in Europe. Europe is where most people’s descendants are from, except for your lizard alien race.