BWP: Playoffs, Pitching, and Poor Sportsmanship

January 30, 2013

The OCWA is home to some of the most talented wiffleball players in the country.  It is a show of pure athletic talent. As the Greek-God-Like physiques enter the holy ground that is Bush Grapes Park few things short of a miracle occur. A few instances have occurred in the history of the OCWA that some might classify as unfortunate, dangerous, or even just unbelievable. In the next few upcoming weeks I will take a look at this events and give you my take on them. 

 

We are going to start off strong with one of the first games in the second season of the OCWA. 

 

Walking on Water: Man Those Kids Can Take Balls.

The year was 2009, one of the first years for many of the veteran players we know today. Ben Brown’s Water’s Warm take on Jon Suhre’s Shake and Bake in the first game of the Opening Day Tournament. Off to an early start, Suhre’s team takes a demanding lead and the future of the Water’s Warm looks grim. With a questionable managerial decision by Brown, he tells his team to rest the bats on their shoulders and take take take. Walk after walk in the limitless fourth inning Brown, Sacheli, and I slowly come back. The fans lose interest, the pitchers are getting tired, and the score is just getting closer and closer. By the end of the game Shake and Bake were slowly defeated in one of the most boring games to ever see Bush Grapes Park. If you were to ask any player there that day what the final score was they would probably have no recollection because personally I don’t even remember the game ending, I just remember watching the ball not hit the strike zone and then going to eat more pizza. After that day, a rested bat is a sign of disrespect, cockiness, and overall poor sportsmanship. Make the games interesting boys. Swing for the fences. 

 

Coexist: The Most Diversely Bad Team to Hit the Field.

I’ve said it before; Jon Suhre has got a hell of a lot of heart. Coexist is the perfect example of something that would literally kill a normal person. With a season record of 5-30, Coexist may have been the worst team to ever step on the grass. With all-star players like Ray Ali (avg .190) Darin Carter (avg .286 with 2 GP) and Julianne Patterson (avg .200 in her only game) The numbers may not look too bad, but Jon Suhre is the only person on the team who played close to every game. He had lack-luster players who refused to play, not that they would have helped much. Suhre is a good player but he is not the star player. This season resulted in a 1v1 shutout of Suhre when he had to go up against the all-star Chris Roeder. That showing can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLqe2QXxY74&list=UUHJvft_IWD0RWZdaMowCKvQ&index=14 . Coexist may have been the worst team to walk up to the plate but that fact is what makes the next unfortunate event so much more unfortunate. 

 

Yet Another Rule Issued in by Brown and His Lackeys.

Big Bob’s Beepers, AKA the Water’s Warm were one of the most average teams to be seen playing wiffleball in 2010. They never really stood out in the 09 season and in 2011 when they became The Carols, they were pitiful. But in 2010 this all around decent team was better than they had ever been. This was their time to shine. They had an above 500 record and solid hitters hitting between .300-.500. They may not have taken the chip but when the playoffs started they were a huge favorite in destroying Coexist in the first round. They were very close games and it went to a three game series, but with Suhre’s addition of two new comers, Coexist came out on top. With a devastating grand slam by Joe Simmons, Coexist ended all the hopes for a victory from the Beepers. Tension rose and the scores became closer. This series was almost the first casualty on the field. 

 

Zero Almost Loses his Life:

While arguing a call, the majority of the players and spectators were reviewing the tape. I was upset with what was happening so I decided to take a few practice swings with one of the heaviest corked bats we had. As I took a full, powerful, and impressive swing, the bat flew from the grip of my hands and launched quickly into the bushes. A split second later, Adam Paul Kloos Jr. dropped to the ground. The bat rocketed right into the side of his neck in spear-like fashion. He was left breathless and the field was left shocked. I felt horrified because I thought I had just killed my best friend. He walked away from the injury with what he described as an ”itchy” welt. 

After this controversial game a new rule was added to the league in which a player must qualify for the playoffs by playing regular season games before they are invited to play in the postseason. 

 

Getting a Ring Without a Game. 

This one is going to be quick, but in the eyes of someone who has come close but has never actually won the chip, people can understand how this is an unfortunate event. Josh “Petri” Ciolek is a name not often heard in OCWA world. He has never played a full regular season game and because of the length of the Shake and Bake/Water Warm game, he missed the only game he showed up to play for. If you look at his stats you will see nothing but a goose egg. Petri is, however, a champion. He was a “proud” member of the Lil Pens in their championship year. He is the only person in the league to win a championship without ever showing his face on the field. And for that he is the last unfortunate event of this article. 

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